Guest Blog: Hopeful Anticipation

It feels just like everyone I know is at a year of waiting. Waiting to a kid, waiting to get a pay raise, awaiting Mr. Right, and the list continues. I’m no stranger to the waiting game. If I’m not careful, I find myself stagnant within my existing season excited about the next. Only to discover that I wake up one day and realize I am in that “next season,” however I’m already awaiting the next. Oh, the cycle. This got me interested in my union and if I am simply waiting in this year believing I will be satisfied in the following. Waiting for our communicating to enhance, waiting for us to agree on monetary objectives, coasting until he receives that new task and we’re nearer to a service system. It is a slippery slope and it happens quickly. 

See, if we married for the next timeI made a commitment to myself that I’d be deliberate about growing my own union in each season. This is something that I did not prioritize our very first go around. We are now in year two of those “hurry up and wait” match with his livelihood, so it is hard to create any long-term investments or plans. A couple of months ago I found myself frustrated about my inability to create programs for the upcoming spring and summer months since we did not know whether we’d be emptied by then. We were awaiting. It put me in a sour mood along with my children and I distanced myself from my own husband. I was fast to find mouthy and even faster to record all of the items I had been upset about. 

What makes it worse is that my mindset did not only affect mepersonally, it spilled over in my union. Silence took the position of thoughtful dialogue; time was substituted with a record of unnecessary to-do’s. He was stressed, silent and withdrawn. Then one night, tossing and turning in bed, it struck me ungratefully I had been residing. Instead of visiting that our existing residence and condition had blessed us , I had been blinded by the very fact that I wanted us to hurry up and proceed. I was not thanking God for its loved friendships I had made along with the areas which have made this feel like a house. I had convinced myself that our next destination could somehow give us a much larger, grander life. I certainly was not singing praises my husband had a project along with the body to do it well. Days hurried together and we found ourselves . We were not pleased but we convinced ourselves when we got where we’re going that could change. We had allowed life divert us from one another; insisting better days are ahead so that it was fine to not love the ones we had been in. The bottom line is, we weren’t waiting nicely together.

Am I the only one who does so? So, what could it look like when both people did not merely “wait”? What when we lived directly in the midst of this year, and allow God utilize this opportunity to mold us, shape us prepare ? While I think it’s excellent to look ahead to all that God has in store for your own life and marriage, I think it’s crucial to allow him grow right where you’re, on your now, in this year together. I wish to live with both optimistic expectation and deliberate gratitude. It struck home if my pastor preached a sermon about a “waiting season not being a wasted season.” (I adore if God does this.) Our God does not make errors. His timing is indeed strategically laid out when the seasons change and moment comes to pass I constantly look back and invite Him for its unanswered prayers. As a spouse, I would like to be an encouragement to my spouse as we wait. I would like to view our union flourish as God uses this opportunity to grow even closer together. Most importantly, I would like our union to point folks to Him.

I am unsure what you’re waiting through or that you’re awaiting, but I understand your time isn’t wasted. I am confident you haven’t been forgotten and I’m confident from the writer of your narrative. My prayer for us is that we wait with a certain and optimistic spirit while we make ourselves accessible for God to utilize us now.